What is Your Personality Type?

What makes you, YOU? 

There are many different theories that people have developed trying to answer this question. One theory that I find to be interesting and easy to explain would be Trait Theory. 

We often wonder what a trait truly is. This is because people are different and therefor each person is good at different things, meaning they have different traits as individuals. To define a trait is to discover characteristics individuals inhabit that make them who they are. People are many different things. People are kind-hearted, hateful, selfish, giving, rude, peaceful, trouble-makers, and many other things. I am sure we can all relate to one or more of these specific traits, don't you agree?

These characteristics can be found within three main sections, cardinal, central, and secondary traits (Costa & Mccrae, 1998). Cardinal traits are the traits that a person is born with and what is in the core who he or she is. If you are always wanting to care for others and give to others, that is one of your cardinal traits. A central trait is the foundation of your personality. This is what makes you, you. This is where we see introverts and extroverts. Your brother might keep to himself, making him an introvert, but if you enjoy spending time with groups of people, you are likely an extrovert. A secondary trait is a trait you can develop over time, like learning to be peaceful or a trouble-maker (1998). 

Discover your Traits!

Everyone is different when it comes to their traits. This is proven true with the Big Five personality traits. The Big Five are known as openness, neuroticism, consciousness, extraversion, and agreeableness. Would you like to discover which of the Big Five personalities best fits for you? There are assessments you can take and I will gladly share some with you. The first one contains around 50 questions which determine if you agree or disagree with different statements. There is another questionnaire that is called the Sixteen Personality Factor which works by discovering which of the sixteen traits a person contains (Mccrae & Costa, 1999). Each of these are interesting tests that can be taken in your own spare time online without the guidance of a therapist, though if you feel you suffer from a personality disorder, please seek professional help as soon as possible. Click the links below to take these tests!

Big 5 Test:   Click for the BIG 5 Test! 

Sixteen: Click for the Sixteen Test!

FAQ's

As you are reading this you might be thinking of some questions you would like answered. Below I will answer some frequently asked questions, but if you have more questions, please feel free to comment below and get the discussion started! 

Question 1: Are personality traits genetic?

It is possible for traits to be passed down from generation to generation. Though this is true, it is also more likely for people to develop personality traits from the environment in which the person is raised. This leads back to the nature verses nurture argument that takes place in psychology. If you share certain traits with your mother more than your father, it is likely due to the fact that you spent more time with your mother than your father growing up. The environment is the biggest factor in this argument (Bouchard & Leohlin, 2001). 

Question 2: Can I really trust these personality test?

Since there are so many theories of personality, it is likely that you will find different results through the type of test you might take. Based on the theories involved within these specific tests, you can trust these results, but none of these are as credible as a personality evaluation by a licensed therapist. When taking an online assessment, for best results, you must answer honestly and not with the answer you feel should be right. 

Question 3: Is there a theory that involves free will?

The humanistic theory of personality is based on free will. People set their own goals in life and desire self-actualization (Sheldon, Ryan, Rawsthorne, & Ilardi, 1997). Self-actualization does not take place until a person is finished with life because the person seeks to be the very best he or she can by setting new and higher goals as each goal is reached. 

Please feel free to leave comments below, especially with your test results so you can compare your personality traits with others and determine what you believe to be true and what you might question. Have fun finding yourself, I know I am!


References: 
Costa, P. T., & Mccrae, R. R. (1998). Trait theories of personality (pp.
103-121). Springer US.

 McCrae, R. R., & Costa Jr, P. T. (1999). A five-factor theory of personality.
Handbook of personality: Theory and research, 2,
139-153.

Bouchard Jr, T. J.,& Loehlin, J. C. (2001). Genes, evolution, and personality. Behavior genetics, 31(3), 243-273.

Sheldon, K. M., Ryan, R. M., Rawsthorne, L. J., & Ilardi, B. (1997). Trait self and
true self: Cross-role variation in the Big-Five personality traits and its
relations with psychological authenticity and subjective well-being. Journal
of Personality and Social Psychology, 73(6),

1380.

Stressed?

I think the most common feeling that everyone shares is stress. I would like to think that we feel love more, but the truth is, there is always so much going on in life and the lives of the ones that we love, that we worry and stress over everything that takes place in our life and the life of our loved ones.

I've been reading this amazing book, off and on for the past month. It's so good that I could read it all in one day, but I'm learning to live differently because of this book and I want to take my time reading it. It's called, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. Last night I came to this chapter in the book that was about how Jesus came to save us from our sin and has Heaven prepared for us, but HEAVEN is where our rewards are. We've heard this all our lives, but we continue to look for God to fix all of our problems here on earth and give us this perfect life with all the answers... but that isn't going to happen. The minute we realize that life is never going to be perfect, a little bit of that "stress" will go away.

Now I'm not saying that God isn't going to help us through difficult times, but what I am saying is once we are out of one situation, there is going to be another one. It may not happen RIGHT after another, there could be some long term amazing times in your life and THEN another stressful time, but eventually, there is is going to be more trying times.

Why do we have to go through these trials? Well... the story of life isn't about OUR life, "we are just a tree, in a story about a forest" (A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, D. Miller). If we stop focusing on why everything is happening to US, we can start to remember to take care of others and be a part of the big picture. This is why we are to lead others to Christ. We go through our own trials so that we can have testimonies to lead others through similar trials of their lives. These trials also make us learn to depend more on God for our needs.

So try to not stress so much. It is all a learning experience and God will always bring you through it. Yes, something else is going to come along and test you again, but just know that your God is bigger than your problems and at the end of your life, you made it to the prize, HEAVEN!

Giving

So another thing that happens this time of year is higher stress levels due to the pressure to give amazing gifts to the people in our lives. With all the high-tech type gifts available and the way people seem to always want the biggest and best, it can leave some "givers" feeling as though their ability to give is limited. Most families, in this economy are not able to give those high ticket items to their loved ones, even if they want to give them. It is just impossible for some people to have the funds to do so.

So here is some advice, think about how gifts make YOU feel when you get them. Do you think, "Oh... I wish I would have received ____ instead!" or do you think, "Wow! I love this and I'm so glad ____ thought of me this time of year!" because the first thing we need to do is be thankful for everything we receive and not expect more than what we are given. God gives us exactly what we need when we need it and all the "extras" are BLESSINGS! 

Try making the neighbor some homemade jam. Grandparents love pictures of the kids so why not have the kids make their own picture frames, decorated themselves and then add a picture of the kids to the frame as a gift for the grandparents. Trust me, they will love this more than any "high dollar"gift anyway. These are the things that matter. Young children do not care if the toy they receive is from the dollar store or from walmart. What they see is something to play with from someone they love. Stop over-thinking the gift. 

Looking for a great idea for your wife? How about a coupon book for chores that she can pass out to you or the kids for some free time for herself. You and the kids can sit down and make the book like, "This coupon is good for one free washing of the dishes from ____" and mom can give that coupon to that person if she wants to take a break and that person will do the dishes, no questions asked because it was part of the gift. As a stay-at-home-mom, I can tell you that a coupon book like that from my kids and husband would make a huge difference in my life! 

How about a great gift for your husband? A coupon book would be great for him as well, but instead of chores, it would be just from the wife and for "alone time". With all that comes along with marriage, working, children, and life, we forget that being alone with our spouse is key to a healthy relationship. Try using Christmas time as a way to give that to your spouse as a promise for the year to come. 

Teenagers are the most difficult to please because they suffer from so much peer pressure in school to have all the "newest" and "best" but try to discuss the meaning of Christmas with your teenagers. They already know the meaning, but maybe they need to be reminded. Try getting them involved in a way to give back by packing care packages for the troops or having them pick a younger child that the family knows to mentor, spend time with, and make a special gift for. This will help them to understand what is truly important. Teach them the importance of money and how hard it is to work for it these days. Find a gift for them that they will love, but won't break the bank. Check the older generations of of ipods, ipads, iphones... those things. They may not get the NEWEST, but they will still have something they will like. 

Most Importantly!! Jesus is the REASON for the SEASON! Yes, we like giving to our friends and family, but as we give to them, let us remind them that we are giving the gift as a symbol of the gift of the life (and then death) of Jesus Christ. Something I do with my kids yearly is bake a cake for Jesus. We sing happy birthday to Him and read the Christmas story from the bible as well as discuss why He was born. Keeping Him the center of Christmas is the best way to continue to have JOY throughout the holiday even if you are unable to give the gifts you know your loved ones want.

Have a BLESSED DAY and try not to stress over giving the best gifts. Know that God will provide your NEEDS and a way for you to get those needs met. <3

Just Show Love

I know I've written about this in the past, but with Christmas just around the corner, I feel it is an important time to remember how to treat others. Not just at Christmas time (though people seem to be more rude this time of year), but all year long. Let's think of a few simple rules to follow when around other people, especially those who might get under your skin even though they probably do not intend to do so.

Rule #1 THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK

I know we have heard this age old rule for as long as time has been around, but people really do FORGET how important this rule is. I like to call it, "Word vomit" because it comes out of people's mouths without any thought and it causes more pain for some, than they realize. Is what you are about to say true? If it is true, will it help the situation or cause more drama/pain? With that said, is it inspiring people to be better than they are without making them feel badly? Does it really need to be said or can it be left alone? Be kind in everything you say and do toward others. Causing them pain just for a laugh in front of others only makes you look bad and mean. Not only did you cause that person to not feel good about themselves, but you also showed others that you are capable of doing the same to them at some point. 

Love others always and don't try to make yourself feel better by bringing others down. I know a guy who always likes to make others feel badly about themselves. It isn't that he wants to hurt them, he says it is just for fun, but the only person who is enjoying it is the person doing the hurting. Why do you think people "find pleasure" when hurting others? My opinion is they have a low opinion of themselves and think they can make themselves feel better based on making others feel the way they feel. 

So if you can relate to one of these types of people, remember that when people say something negative about you, it is more about themselves than you and if you are on the causing end of the pain, try to THINK before you speak. Making others feel GOOD will help you to feel GOOD! If you HAVE to point out a negative that someone is doing because it is necessary, then try to follow it with a positive so they aren't left feeling defeated or attacked. 

Rule #2 DO SOMETHING KIND FOR SOMEONE YOU'VE HURT

Learning to do something nice for people can be difficult if you've been one of those people who found pleasure in hurting others. I know you never meant it to be hurtful, you were just trying to be funny, but we still have to learn to be kind. So how can turn it around and be kind? Think of something you know would make that person happy. Maybe it's making breakfast for them or picking up a few items from the store you know they need. I have had people do these things for me and it really does make me happy. Most people aren't looking for a handout from others, but maybe baking them a cake just to say "I was thinking of you" or sending a greeting card so they know they are important in your life... these random acts of kindness can truly help them to feel good and in return YOU will feel good, a million times better than the way making others feel BAD made you feel. 

Rule #3 PAY IT FORWARD

Next time you are in line at the local starbucks drive through, offer to pay for the person in line behind you. it may seem like something simple to you, but for that person it shows them love and that a random person wanted to do something nice for them. It may start a chain reaction and lead to everyone paying for the person in line behind them, brightening everyone's day. I remember a few years back, hearing about a starbucks where this happened and it went on the entire business day. Everyone who bought coffee that day did not pay for their own coffee, but the person behind them. This warmed my heart because any ONE of those people could have just taken the "free" coffee and drove off, but they each chose to pay it forward. Maybe you aren't a coffee fan, so find another way to pay it forward. I know times are tough right now, but if you could spare $20-$100 or so, randomly give it to a family that seems to be struggling. No strings attached, no questions asked, just to show love to that family. Maybe you don't even know them, but you see them in the supermarket and they look like they might need help paying for this in these tough times, just go up to them and give it to them. 

Those 3 rules will not only help others, but they will truly help YOU to find TRUE joy within yourself! God will also be pleased because this is truly loving your neighbor as you would want your neighbor to love you.

If "what goes around comes around" then I think I would rather be kind and have kindness come back to me than be ugly to others and have that ugly come back to me!

Think about it!! 

Defeating Goliath

We all have been in that situation... someone in your life makes you feel as though you are small and unable to do things that you know you can. Sometimes there are people who feel so badly about themselves that they want to bring down others in order to try to make themselves feel better. Does it really make them feel better? I am not sure, I've  never felt good after saying something that caused another person pain, so I would think it doesn't work, but all people are different.

**If I have said anything to you in the past or even recently that may have upset you, please know I do not intend to cause anyone to be upset and I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart, my goal in life is to show love to all, no matter what!**

It's time to slay that Goliath! Think of David, he was just a small boy. There were so many soldiers that could have chose to stand up to Goliath, but they were all afraid. This giant was known for breaking down so many others that the soldiers no longer wanted to even try to defeat him. What were they to do?? Then... this little boy, David, comes along and says, "My God is bigger than that giant! I can bring him down with God's help!" He didn't go in there with swords or arrows or anything like that, no David took something as small as a couple of stones and a sling shot and brought him down! YES!!! VICTORY!! God gave him the strength he needed to do the "unthinkable".

I know someone who is struggling with his own Goliath. This man works hard daily and gives his best in all that he does, but he is just torn down daily by "Goliath". Goliath has caused so many others to quit their jobs because they could not handle him and just wanted to run away like the soldiers from the story of David and Goliath. Someone has to take a stand, have FAITH that God can do ALL THINGS and bring down the giant!

There are always going to be Goliath's and we don't have to get a sling shot to bring them down, that would be frowned upon in this day and time, but we can take a stand to defend ourselves in a loving manor.

If someone is only pointing out the things you do wrong in your life, ask them to please tell you or show you how they would like it to be done. This is not only showing them respect, but also showing that you want to do things "the right way", even if your way has been right in your eyes. There is always room for improvement. If they refuse to show you how they want it done, take it to someone who can talk to them for you, like someone above them. If it is in your marriage, please talk to your spouse about talking to you with LOVE and not anger. Explain how they make you feel and that you want to feel loved. That you want to show them love by doing things the way that makes you both happy and work together to figure out what that is. Marriage is a two way street, the spouse has to WANT TO make YOU HAPPY too. Don't be married to a Goliath. If you feel that you are, seek counseling, together. Communication can bring the Goliath out of a person, if done in a loving manor.

spend time in God's word, asking and seeking for His guidance, what does He want you to do in your own situation? Talk to someone that can help you come to a conclusion. All situations are different, but God is in all of them and wants to give you the strength to get through any situation and slay any Goliath that you may face in your life. Stay strong, be brave, and stand up!! 

Choices

Are you standing at a crossroad or a fork in the road?

Sometimes we reach this point and we just want a sign that will tell us which choice will be the one to make us happy. 

If we all had signs that told us the answers we would never learn to appreciate the good things in life. We wouldn't have to work hard to get to that point. It's time to take a chance! Step out in FAITH and trust God to guide you where He wants you! You CANNOT go WRONG with HIM! The road may be more difficult, but with trials and troubles, comes strength! Look at all you've ALREADY been through, it has NOT brought you to be WEAK, but STRONG! Flex your muscles and see yourself the way God sees you! 

God wants us to know that He made us for a purpose and sometimes it is different that what we see for ourselves. I have a friend who thought she was meant to be a teacher for as long as you could remember, but one day, God smacked her in the face with the reality that He was calling her to a different purpose. Now she is earning her education toward a psychology degree in order to help others one day. Not just children, but people of all ages. She can still teach with this degree, but she can do so much more. It is out of her "comfort zone", but she is learning to love what God has called her to do.

We never know what He wants for us until he opens that door and pushes us through it, but sometimes He lets us make the call. My friend did not HAVE to listen to God's calling. She could have made the choice to stick with education, it was completely up to her. Like Jonah and the whale... Jonah chose to run and not follow God's calling for him... he ended up going through a lot more "trials" because of that choice and still, he ended up fulfilling God's calling on his life, he just took a detour. God will do the same in your life. No matter what choice you make, at some point God will bring you right back to where He wants you, but if you resist it, you might be setting yourself up for more trials. You will learn from those trials, just as Jonah did, so don't worry if your choice is right, no matter what your choice, God will guide you as long as you allow Him!

I'm praying for each of you, who are at a crossroad in your life. Make your choice!! Do not be afraid!!

Thanksgiving

We just celebrated day of THANKS with family and friends... but were you truly thankful for what you have in life or were you waiting for the next day to run out and buy all the things you wanted?

 We live in a world where nothing is ever enough. When we receive a blessing from God, into our life we often forget to be thankful and instantly start looking for something MORE...

 Why should we be blessed with MORE if we cannot be thankful for what we have and where we are at this exact point in our life? I would never expect God to give me MORE if I cannot be thankful for what I already have been given.

 We often want what we think we can't have instead of being pleased with what we already have...
Now it's okay to desire MORE for yourself, your loved ones, your family, your friends... we should always strive to BETTER ourselves by allowing God to work in us. If we spend time being thankful for what we already have and working with WHAT WE HAVE to get to that BETTER place then we are having FAITH that God can do anything. He can bring us through any life situation and into a bigger and better place, but first, are we thanking Him for what we have? Are we asking ONCE and THEN THANKING HIM for what we know He is going to give us in our future? These are KEY to a happy life!

Sit down and make a list of everything that you truly thankful for. Spend time in His word, thanking Him for all you have and all you know He has planned for you and your family. Have FAITH that HE can do anything!! So what are you waiting for? Get to it! What are you thankful for???